Mom & Me Journals Histories: 1999 - 2001

    First of all, I should tell you that I just passed up the perfect opportunity to approach MCS about our plan to gather the family on behalf of Mom. She called (apparently Mom had left a message yesterday when they were out) and although we talked a lot, and I did find the courage to say (in a humorous way) that I am overwhelmed (I used that word), I don't know, otherwise my courage failed me. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to be able to come forward and do this. MCS talked about how well her household was running with two families and such. At one point when I talked about Mom's stocks and how I am completely beside myself handling them she admitted that, she, too, "didn't know anything about stocks". She seemed ready to hear amusing anecdotes about Mom, so that's what I fed her.
    Anyway, on to other things. I'm going to answer your points specifically; they are all important and well thought out.

1. I agree that Mom's stocks are not so sacred that they can't be sold, if necessary. I'm not exactly sure what assets should be liquidated first or, you know, how this should be decided. That's something I need to talk to MFA about. Those not publicly traded, maybe. I'm reluctant to touch the stocks under MFA's control because those are the ones being affected by the market and they are also the ones upon which Mom's margin is based. I'm going to have to talk to MFA about this and see what he thinks. MCS is not the one to ask about stocks. Maybe her husband. Even if he doesn't know that much, he might be interested in learning, and, certainly, I have no qualms about him dealing with MFA. Since Mom lost the ability to manage her portfolio, although I doubt MFA has consciously taken advantage of the situation, he also hasn't been bombarded with questions and asked about alternative management proposals.
2. As far as having someone check out the homes, the first one who should do this is MCS's husband. He has not only done much remodeling on his own, he also has hired legions of remodelers and contractors. I know he's very occasionally been "taken" but that happens to the best of us. I still would like him look over the house situation before anyone else does. He is uniquely qualified for this. He might even have some good ideas about whether it would be worth it for Mom to keep either house and which one.
3. I am seriously considering getting rid of that house down in Mesa. The only problem is, I like her doctors. I'd like to explore the possibility of keeping it and keeping it completely closed up unless we need to be down there for doctor visits, hospitalization, etc. Plus, I know how much Mom likes it down there in the winter. I'm going to have to do some serious thinking about this. A lot of this will depend on restructuring her portfolio so that the upkeep and bills of two houses can be handled seamlessly. I hope this is a possibility.
4. I agree that Mom's money shouldn't be spent frivolously. I think that's going to be an easy guideline to meet. I certainly am not in the habit of doing that, neither is Mom. I don't think anyone else will be, either. This is why four heads are going to be much better than one. I worry about getting taken to the cleaners by contractors, lawyers, etc., and not realizing it until after the fact. My main worry is that I know Mom's portfolio needs to be restructured before the bulk of this stuff takes place. MFA needs to be in on all of that.

    MFS, I cannot shake the feeling that I'm being a fucking big baby about this and if I "knuckled down and applied myself" I could handle everything. I mean, I look at everyone else's lives and I think, Jesus, Gail, what the hell is your problem?
    Anyway, we're just at the beginning, here. You're doing a much better job of looking at these things objectively than I am. Thank you for that. I think I am, slowly, beginning to regain a little bit of my sanity about this. I mean, just what the fuck HAVE I been doing here, anyway?