Mom & Me Journals Histories: 1999 - 2001

    I know I still sound pretty business-like. I'm still being pretty business-like. I don't know why. But I'm feeling a little better. I have a lot to tell you about Mom's blood test but I'd rather do that on the phone. It's pretty frustrating. Not about Mom's condition but trying to get some consensus from the Doctor's office about what it all means. I'll tell you about it later.

    I never even thought about that, giving you what must have been a scintillating rundown of my mother's serum cholesterol and not elaborating on her "very odd episodes"! So. Here they are:

1. About two and a half weeks ago Mom was sitting in her rocker in the living room in Prescott watching TV. I was working at the computer which is laid out in the back of the living room. In my peripheral vision I noticed that it looked like Mom was striking a match to light a cigarette but I didn't see the tip of the cigarette extending from her profile. I slipped off the cedar chest I use as a chair at the computer, walked around to her side and noticed that she was attempting to light the business tip of a match that was protruding from her mouth. Quickly assuming this was one of her "I'm watching TV and not noticing what I'm doing" spasms, I snatched the matches out of her mouth and hands and said something like, "Mom, I'm glad I caught that! You were about to light a match in your mouth!"
       She turned to me, glared and said, "What do you think you're doing!"
       "Mom," I said, "you almost lit a match in your mouth!"
       "I know what I was doing!" Her voice was icy.
       She still wasn't getting it. "Mom," I said, "you could have set yourself on fire! The spray in your hair, your hair, I'm sure you thought you were lighting a cigarette."
       "I know what I was doing! I was lighting a match."
       I couldn't believe it. "In your mouth," I reminded her.
       "In my mouth."
       I figured this was going to be an isolated episode and she had been too embarrassed to admit to me that she was reckless because she wasn't paying attention.
2.     About a week later just before we left Prescott I walked into the living room and noticed my mother doing something to a cigarette. I couldn't tell what so I walked over to her. She was ripping open Taco Bell mild sauce packets from a stash I keep for seasoning, holding up cigarettes one by one and squeezing Taco Bell sauce on them.
       In the time it took me to react she lifted one of the cigarettes to her mouth, picked up her lighter and attempted to light it.
       "Mom! That isn't going to light! And if it does it's going to smell! Pay attention to what you're doing!"
       "I know what I'm doing!"
       No way. "Mom," I said, gently removing the dripping cigarette and the lighter from her hands, "you were putting Taco Bell Sauce on cigarettes. Look at this mess!"
       "I know!"
       "You were going to light one!" My voice was getting higher and tighter.
       "I know!"
       Astonished and impervious, I pressed on. "Aside from the fact that it probably won't light, if it does it's going to smell!"
       "Why can't I have this cigarette?" She grabbed the cigarette back.
       I decided since nothing was making sense any more I didn't have to make sense. "Because I said so! Because I think smoking cigarettes with Taco Bell Sauce on them is disgusting and I won't tolerate it! That's why!"
       She accepted this.

    That's what I mean about "very odd episodes". They could be any number of things; mini-strokes, blood-sugar spikes, serious dips in her blood oxygen level, hallucinatory dementia, who knows. They don't happen very often but I'm prepared, emotionally at least, for just about anything, now.
    I'm sorry. That is much more interesting than my mother's triglyceride level. Essentially I agree with you when you wonder why it's best to deprive my 83-year-old mother of eggs and cheese. Are another few years of cheese-reduced existence worth it? Would she think so?
    Exactly. Would she think so. On some things, yes. There are still heavy wisps of the haze. Plus, as she walks [I'm not talking preparing her for the yearly charity walking marathon, I'm talking putting one foot in front of the other, outside, and not sleeping all the time.] her blood oxygen level will rise. She likes the sun and we don't get much inside in this house down here. I certainly am not going to scale her cheese back to two slices a week as Ms. Nutritionist (I have no idea who this woman is and I am annoyed with her and she knows it) stated. There's no way I could keep her from snacking on cheese. And she'll cut back some, now that she's medically aware of it. That's how she (still) operates. The Nutritionist/NP hasn't followed my mother. She couldn't give me her LDL and HDL (or didn't want to, who knows) and started ranting "below 120; below 120". So after the New Year I'll call and ask to talk to the Diabetic Specialist at the clinic. That should help.
    My mom has finally almost forgotten about the Christmas tree. She even wondered yesterday why our neighbors still have their lights up "this late in the season". So I suppose I could get away with going along and pronouncing Christmas over. The rest of the family wouldn't cooperate, though. Mom's been spending a lot of time telephoning cousins of hers, most of them older than her, and catching up. The 86 year old asked her "What 'My Dead Uncle' was up to?" so Mom asked me and I broke the news yet again to them that he'd died just about a year ago of a massive heart attack. As my mother said the last time she forgot 'My Dead Uncle' died, "Some things just aren't worth remembering."
    And, yes, enough of lifespans. I suppose it would be nice to have a genuine zest for life but this is nice too. It suits me.

    Since I last e'd you we'd gotten the results of Mom's full blood panel and she has, once again, been diagnosed with high triglycerides and high cholesterol. I'm not sure of the numbers. I have to call today for those. I do know what I need to do about it and I'm glad that now "the Dr." is demanding that as long as she is able she should be walking more, eating vegetables (it is fair to say that she currently eats none) and attempting to lower her triglycerides. I just finished reading some stuff on WebMD. I think I'll go into Medscape later and see what they have to say. I know she's been scolded about this and treated (with medication) for this before. When I lived in Seattle her physician put her on, then took her off, Pravacol. On, when he discovered her levels; then 6 months or so later, off, when he read the research (which I'd independently stumbled across in Seattle and read) that in elderly patients who show no other signs of heart disease and have not suffered from symptoms medication has not proved to do any good and this condition seems to coincide, at this age, with an increased protection from stroke. But simply because, at 83, she is able to change her life-style, I tend to agree with "the Doctor" that it couldn't hurt so I am now charged, per her PCP, with bullying (I use that word with implied pause, now) her into walking and eating "better".
    "Her levels will never be reduced to what they probably were [they had never been measured before 1990] when she was 45 or 50. But she has no signs of heart failure. There's no excuse for her not doing what she can do. You tell her that for me."
    So I've been arguing with her to, "...look at how much you walk already, Mom. I'll bet you did a good mile at Costco, today." We went Christmas shopping, which she loves to do. "We're just going to add a stroll down to the rec center and back in the middle of the afternoon when it's warm."
    And the cheese. She has been known to eat a pound of Tillamook sharp cheddar in a day, slice by clotted slice. "If I cut down on the cheese a little, Mom, you won't even notice it."
    "Well, I guess we'll try it," she says.
    I'm expecting a certain amount of success. She has been a dream about cutting back on sugar. Except cocoa, which is easy to make fat free or with a little half-and-half for disguise, she hardly has any chocolate anymore, which was her primary refined sugar source. And Cerreta's makes a decent (she likes it) sugar free chocolate candy and she can have some (emphasis on the "some", it is also a highly refined, although not as volatile, carbohydrate) sorbitol. Soshe's looking forward to that. And her glucose levels have been reduced admirably. Today I'm going to call her diabetic FNP and ask her for numbers (she left the initial message on our answering machine) and suggest particular steps I think my mother can reasonably take for reducing her triglycerides and, probably, her LDL. I think cutting her cheese intake in half per day will make a big difference, as well as will an increase in her walking. Her blood oxygen level will also rise. I mean, why not get healthier at 83?
    So that's what we've been doing lately. She is cutting back on smoking on her own. She literally forgets to smoke, which is nice. This has also increased her blood oxygen level. It is amazing how little one must to do make changes in one's overall level of healthful functioning.
    I'll bet Mom would like egg white omelets. I've just never tried them on her. That should help. She insists on one egg every morning. I could do two whites with water and the stuff in the omelet would look great. Eye candy (as a substitute for the other kind).
    She has had a couple very odd episodes. I'll tell you about those later.

    So pretty much all the business that can be done through the end of December except getting stamps and paying some bills is done. I really, truly hate the business of living. I know this hatred is an impediment to handling my mother's affairs. I wish I was one of those truly instinctual species. I don't really care which one, although a bug would be nice, or a mushroom colony, or something.