Thursday, April 13, 2000
No More Driving, Miss Daisy - To LTF
As of this week I have refreshed my own cocktail party anecdotal archives. You'll love this one; I think it runs a close second to your Dad's.
Two days ago, Mom drove into the side of our pre-fabricated 'mobile' home. Thankfully, she was not hurt. The force of the collision shoved a solid utility room door five feet into our laundry closet; accordioned our washer/dryer [They still work. We have to tape the dryer door shut, but the washing machine works better than ever.], and destroyed the siding, the drywall and indoor paneling throughout one quarter of the house. Two other doors are going to have to be reframed and reset. The car has a little paint on it from the door trim, but seems to be fine. Built-in floor-to-ceiling cabinetry stopped her. I was at the computer when it happened. The collision was so loud I figured it must be next door, because if it had been our house, we would not have survived it. I rushed out the door and Mom was emerging from the car. She had substituted the accelerator for the brakes as she was entering our carport. Luckily, it had been from a stop position and no more than 50 feet from her, er, target, I suppose. As it turns out, this sort of thing happens frequently enough so that her Mobile Homeowner's policy excludes it, if it happens with your own car. We still don't have an estimate for the damage. We're expecting that, today.
The cats are just now beginning to settle down. We will be able to live in the house throughout reconstruction, which should begin next week. The contractor will temporarily wall off the part he's working on. The Big Girl has already managed to freak herself out over it. We're going to have to keep an eye on her, next week.
So, do you mind if I talk about this? Up to this point, for the last year or so, I've been doing all the driving for my mother, except to the beauty parlor, which is across the street, very easy to negotiate. Every time she goes, I ask her if she wants me to drive her. She always says, "No." I've respected that. Well, about an hour after her collision with the house, I gently told her I would be driving her to the beauty parlor. She not only didn't resist, she was relieved. She wants to keep up her driver's license, which comes due this year. I doubt that she'll have a problem. Her eyesight is good and she has had no reportable violations, so she will probably not even have to take a written test. But, she won't drive, anymore. That's okay with her. She has never liked driving. She didn't learn to drive until she was 31.
The experience was much more traumatic for me than for Mom. We were so lucky, in so many ways. Still, I keep flashing on a conversation I had with MPS a few weeks ago: I mentioned something about Mom's trip to the beauty parlor and MPS, for some reason, felt it necessary to say, "She's not still driving there, is she?" I was surprised she asked. So, my first reaction, when this happened, was to feel that maybe I had not been vigilant enough. The more I think about it, though, since we are responding appropriately to the situation, the more I think that it's really important to allow the old to make mistakes. To disallow that is an indignity, I think.
Of course, too, as everyone reminds me, in February of this year a 92-year-old driver mistook the gas for the breaks at a fair in Glendale and killed 3 people. That could have been my mom. It won't be, now. The side of a house is a small price to pay...anyway, my point is that just because those of advanced age tend to commit more mistakes, as time goes on, versus children, who commit fewer, does not mean that we should forbid those mistakes. We can behavior-proof an environment successively as well as regressively.
It'll be nice to get up to Prescott. I think Mom is looking forward to it, this year.
Two days ago, Mom drove into the side of our pre-fabricated 'mobile' home. Thankfully, she was not hurt. The force of the collision shoved a solid utility room door five feet into our laundry closet; accordioned our washer/dryer [They still work. We have to tape the dryer door shut, but the washing machine works better than ever.], and destroyed the siding, the drywall and indoor paneling throughout one quarter of the house. Two other doors are going to have to be reframed and reset. The car has a little paint on it from the door trim, but seems to be fine. Built-in floor-to-ceiling cabinetry stopped her. I was at the computer when it happened. The collision was so loud I figured it must be next door, because if it had been our house, we would not have survived it. I rushed out the door and Mom was emerging from the car. She had substituted the accelerator for the brakes as she was entering our carport. Luckily, it had been from a stop position and no more than 50 feet from her, er, target, I suppose. As it turns out, this sort of thing happens frequently enough so that her Mobile Homeowner's policy excludes it, if it happens with your own car. We still don't have an estimate for the damage. We're expecting that, today.
The cats are just now beginning to settle down. We will be able to live in the house throughout reconstruction, which should begin next week. The contractor will temporarily wall off the part he's working on. The Big Girl has already managed to freak herself out over it. We're going to have to keep an eye on her, next week.
So, do you mind if I talk about this? Up to this point, for the last year or so, I've been doing all the driving for my mother, except to the beauty parlor, which is across the street, very easy to negotiate. Every time she goes, I ask her if she wants me to drive her. She always says, "No." I've respected that. Well, about an hour after her collision with the house, I gently told her I would be driving her to the beauty parlor. She not only didn't resist, she was relieved. She wants to keep up her driver's license, which comes due this year. I doubt that she'll have a problem. Her eyesight is good and she has had no reportable violations, so she will probably not even have to take a written test. But, she won't drive, anymore. That's okay with her. She has never liked driving. She didn't learn to drive until she was 31.
The experience was much more traumatic for me than for Mom. We were so lucky, in so many ways. Still, I keep flashing on a conversation I had with MPS a few weeks ago: I mentioned something about Mom's trip to the beauty parlor and MPS, for some reason, felt it necessary to say, "She's not still driving there, is she?" I was surprised she asked. So, my first reaction, when this happened, was to feel that maybe I had not been vigilant enough. The more I think about it, though, since we are responding appropriately to the situation, the more I think that it's really important to allow the old to make mistakes. To disallow that is an indignity, I think.
Of course, too, as everyone reminds me, in February of this year a 92-year-old driver mistook the gas for the breaks at a fair in Glendale and killed 3 people. That could have been my mom. It won't be, now. The side of a house is a small price to pay...anyway, my point is that just because those of advanced age tend to commit more mistakes, as time goes on, versus children, who commit fewer, does not mean that we should forbid those mistakes. We can behavior-proof an environment successively as well as regressively.
It'll be nice to get up to Prescott. I think Mom is looking forward to it, this year.
