Friday, June 29, 2001
Nobody Likes to Be Ordered Around - To LTF
I am spending most of today steering my mother in the direction of her appointments and lunch "out". So, it was with great relief that I received your e saying that you feel I am doing more good than harm. Thank you for saying this. I can remember what it was like to feel this way about my time with her. I can even remember what it felt like to write you about her from that attitude. So maybe this assurance is not so far away that I can't recover it. MPS, quite to my surprise, also called to confirm this for me last night. I guess she had talked to MCF who told her that she thought I was "finally going crazy" (as though bets are being taken on how long I can stay sane in this environment). There is still something I'm wrestling with in regards to this issue, otherwise, of course, I'd believe as you and MPS do.
As I know I've mentioned to you, my mother does the same thing your father does: Refuses my good advice on diet and then, later, when it's not my advice, follows it. However, as she is forgetting to eat (which reminds me of something that occurred to me, earlier this morning, specifically when I was fixing her breakfast and thinking about my mother and food, I'll cover it at the *'d Place) she pretty much eats whatever is handy when she is reminded. She is refusing fewer varieties of food lately, although she gets sick of anything with tomatoes in any condition very quickly. I made a great little vegetable rice dish the other night out of which she meticulously picked the vegetables. Then she smothered what was left with ketchup (ketchup, I guess, isn't tomatoes to her).
*'d Place: I was thinking about how the hunger pangs of starvation in vital people are very distinct, overwhelming, and extremely painful. People, when vital, do not easily die of starvation. However, apparently when a body becomes very old, it changes its reaction to starvation. My mother could probably survive without being malnourished on her supplements alone. But it seems to me that I recall reading about starvation in Final Exit and, although I remember nothing specific, I do remember getting the surprising impression that starvation, when one's body is on it's way out, is not rigorous and is usually also combined voluntarily in its final stages with dehydration from the refusal to take liquids. Not being interested in eating anymore maybe goes hand in hand with one's body not really being interested in getting up again.
As I know I've mentioned to you, my mother does the same thing your father does: Refuses my good advice on diet and then, later, when it's not my advice, follows it. However, as she is forgetting to eat (which reminds me of something that occurred to me, earlier this morning, specifically when I was fixing her breakfast and thinking about my mother and food, I'll cover it at the *'d Place) she pretty much eats whatever is handy when she is reminded. She is refusing fewer varieties of food lately, although she gets sick of anything with tomatoes in any condition very quickly. I made a great little vegetable rice dish the other night out of which she meticulously picked the vegetables. Then she smothered what was left with ketchup (ketchup, I guess, isn't tomatoes to her).
*'d Place: I was thinking about how the hunger pangs of starvation in vital people are very distinct, overwhelming, and extremely painful. People, when vital, do not easily die of starvation. However, apparently when a body becomes very old, it changes its reaction to starvation. My mother could probably survive without being malnourished on her supplements alone. But it seems to me that I recall reading about starvation in Final Exit and, although I remember nothing specific, I do remember getting the surprising impression that starvation, when one's body is on it's way out, is not rigorous and is usually also combined voluntarily in its final stages with dehydration from the refusal to take liquids. Not being interested in eating anymore maybe goes hand in hand with one's body not really being interested in getting up again.
