Wednesday, March 28, 2001
Money is the Root - To LTF
Tax day is over and it was to the power of 10 worse than I ever could have imagined. I performed well. I was able to recover every single piece of paperwork that appeared to be necessary and had it all waiting in a neat little pile when MA showed up except one piece that hadn't yet arrived but will be here probably today. No big deal.
It seems, though, that the last of my father's investments matured last year, was sold and the profits plowed back into the ground my mother dances on. This investment required that a particular dance be performed every year. I'm sure my father performed the dance. The dances that people require of one another discouraged him but he did them because he thought that was the only way and the problem was his attitude...maybe he was right. MA has pictures of my mother performing the dance but only since 1992. MA says my mother used H&R Block between 1985 (when my dad died) and 1992 and they don't keep pictures. There's a good chance that she also didn't know that she was supposed to keep the pictures of Dad doing the dance from the time he started, which was some years before his death. So now the Feds require that my mother produce pictures of her and my father doing the dance so they can compare my parents' pictures with their own. If she doesn't produce the pictures of the dance or a close approximation (which is going to be difficult since the company has gone through at least 4 different restructurings since my father invested in it, all of which were lucrative) my mother will have to pay the Feds "at least once again as much in taxes than she would normally owe". It doesn't matter that she's already paid this over the years. It doesn't matter that the Feds supposedly have pictures of my parents performing the dance and chits of the cover charges they paid to get into the hall. What matters is that we probably don't have the chits or copies of the pictures. If we don't produce our copies the rules say that the Feds get to release something much worse than ducks. They get to send out their earth movers and shove chunks of earth right out from underneath my dancing mother long before a grave is actually required. Hey, it's the rules. We all agreed on these dances somewhere back there when we got the bright ideas of "money" and "owning things". The Feds R Us. What can one do?
I am disgusted. I will, of course, do the work. MFA is trying to help but so far he's discovered that the history of the investment is probably hopelessly buried under "street names" from before the time he took on the role of my mother's investment counselor in 1989. As well, the company behind any "street name" is not required to keep records before their own "street name" took over. MA will help me fashion whatever I find in Prescott tomorrow (where our records are) into some sort of approximation of the dance. He admitted that if we aren't able to make the pictures look pretty much like the Feds' pictures not only will we have to pay the band once again, we'll probably get audited, but that's what he's there for. He considers audits "an opportunity to learn from our mistakes". He's another guy who likes what he does and thinks it's an exciting way to thrive. MFA says, "You'll be surprised what good CPAs can do. MA is one of the best. Everything will be fine. Don't worry."
At least my mother is surrounded by people who really like fooling with money and know how important the dances are.
It seems, though, that the last of my father's investments matured last year, was sold and the profits plowed back into the ground my mother dances on. This investment required that a particular dance be performed every year. I'm sure my father performed the dance. The dances that people require of one another discouraged him but he did them because he thought that was the only way and the problem was his attitude...maybe he was right. MA has pictures of my mother performing the dance but only since 1992. MA says my mother used H&R Block between 1985 (when my dad died) and 1992 and they don't keep pictures. There's a good chance that she also didn't know that she was supposed to keep the pictures of Dad doing the dance from the time he started, which was some years before his death. So now the Feds require that my mother produce pictures of her and my father doing the dance so they can compare my parents' pictures with their own. If she doesn't produce the pictures of the dance or a close approximation (which is going to be difficult since the company has gone through at least 4 different restructurings since my father invested in it, all of which were lucrative) my mother will have to pay the Feds "at least once again as much in taxes than she would normally owe". It doesn't matter that she's already paid this over the years. It doesn't matter that the Feds supposedly have pictures of my parents performing the dance and chits of the cover charges they paid to get into the hall. What matters is that we probably don't have the chits or copies of the pictures. If we don't produce our copies the rules say that the Feds get to release something much worse than ducks. They get to send out their earth movers and shove chunks of earth right out from underneath my dancing mother long before a grave is actually required. Hey, it's the rules. We all agreed on these dances somewhere back there when we got the bright ideas of "money" and "owning things". The Feds R Us. What can one do?
I am disgusted. I will, of course, do the work. MFA is trying to help but so far he's discovered that the history of the investment is probably hopelessly buried under "street names" from before the time he took on the role of my mother's investment counselor in 1989. As well, the company behind any "street name" is not required to keep records before their own "street name" took over. MA will help me fashion whatever I find in Prescott tomorrow (where our records are) into some sort of approximation of the dance. He admitted that if we aren't able to make the pictures look pretty much like the Feds' pictures not only will we have to pay the band once again, we'll probably get audited, but that's what he's there for. He considers audits "an opportunity to learn from our mistakes". He's another guy who likes what he does and thinks it's an exciting way to thrive. MFA says, "You'll be surprised what good CPAs can do. MA is one of the best. Everything will be fine. Don't worry."
At least my mother is surrounded by people who really like fooling with money and know how important the dances are.
